Thursday thoughts #6

February 16, 2017

I've been thinking a lot lately. (Which I always do but it's been getting out of hand again.)
I've been thinking about life. About the past, the present and the future. About love and the definition of home. About the work I do and the money I earn. About health and wealth. About the world and about travelling it. But mostly I've been thinking about time. And how I am spending it.

Time seems so inconsistent to me these days, and the concept of it all starts to confuse me when I think about it for too long. On the weekends for example, it appears to go by much faster than on, let's say, a Monday. But then again, an hour spent on the sofa on a cosy Sunday afternoon usually tends to feel much longer than one hour at work on a Thursday morning. Weird.

Looking back at it now, these past four days of the week went by quite quickly without me doing anything particularly exciting. On Tuesday though it seemed as if Friday was still ages away. Lately I actually feel like I am spending half of my weekdays waiting for the weekend to begin. Because weekends mean I get to do what I love most. I get to spend time with Philipp, go out and explore, take and edit pictures, watch Game of Thrones and sit and talk and laugh. And most importantly, I don't get so much time to think and be pensive. Because I am spending my time consciously, enjoying every second, and not wasting half of it.

And I don't think life is supposed to be that way. I don't think it's healthy to be spending half of a short life waiting for something. Like the weekend. Or a vacation. Or whatever else one could be waiting for. I reckon every single day deserves to be lived and enjoyed fully. And if that's not possible, which it probably won't be, than maybe it can at least be enjoyed for a few minutes. I know not every day will be all smiles and sunshine all day long. There will always be bad days. Sad days. Dark days. Many more than anyone would hope for. But there should be something in every day, something you're looking forward to. Something that makes you excited for that day. Something that makes you want to get out of bed in the morning. Something that makes you enjoy that day. Whether it be a Tuesday or a Saturday.

Now let's be completely honest here. For the past few months, many of my days have been missing that. I've not been looking forward to a Tuesday as much as I had been nine months ago. I've not been looking forward to getting out of bed on a cold and dark and lonely Wednesday morning. I've not been enjoying my days as much as they deserve to be enjoyed. And therefore it is about time I change something in my life. And I guess I'll talk about that another Thursday, once the frost is gone and I've figured out what exactly I want to change and how I'm going to do that.

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