waking up alone

September 18, 2016

It's been a while. The other day I realized that I've been living in my new place for half a year now; and I guess the fact that I still call it my new place says a lot about how short these past six months actually seemed.

I feel like ever since I got settled here, I never really had the urge to sitting down and properly type a post for this site. Life just happened. Other things seemed more interesting or important. And then I guess I must've got stuck in a rut. And I am sure everybody can relate to that in one way or another.

Either way, I may have been quite absent over these past couple of months but I was very well alive and there's a lot of things I've learnt. About myself, about life, about living and waking up alone. Which is exactly what I want to share in this post today.  

Before moving to this place, I had never lived on my own and therefore obviously didn't know whether or not I would like it. But now that I've had enough time to get used to it, I can without a doubt say I thoroughly enjoy it. I have discovered that I am a true introvert and I just really like being by myself in general. I appreciate spending time with people, to an extend, but I do need a lot of space and alone time. And by a lot, I mean a lot. Living with a partner, who can respect that, is wonderful but I don't think I'd ever be happy sharing an apartment with strangers, or even friends, to be honest.

Also, I am incredibly neat and tidy. I like my apartment to look a certain way and since I am the only one living here and making the mess, I can always maintain my desired level of tidiness. And I am aware that that makes me sound a bit like a psychopath. I love being able to blast out whatever music I want to listen to and to sing along to it without annyoing anybody (well, except my neighbours probably). My whole routine has shifted and changed, and I feel like I take a lot more care of myself now. Even though I've always hated sports, I recently started regularly riding my bike, running and doing home workouts. I never thought I'd ever say that but working out makes me feel incredible! Incredibly hot, sweaty and gross. But seriously, I've become much more aware of my body, and after feeling crappy about myself for months, that kind of confidence was exactly what I needed.

When I first moved, the thought of being home alone at night kind of scared me a bit. I was so used to always having somebody to say good night to and suddenly no longer being able to do that felt very strange. Well, I could have said good night to my fridge and the huge empty white walls but that just would've been nuts. Luckily, after the first couple of nights I found that my sleep was a lot deeper and so much more relaxing than back when I was sharing my bed at the old place. And ever since then I really don't mind falling asleep and waking up alone anymore.

It's nice having someone to come home to, to talk to about anything and everything, to cook with and to kiss good night but at this point in my life, I don't feel like I need that to be happy. Although there certainly are a lot of perks to being able to share a life and apartment with a partner, I am so glad that I finally realized how important this whole experience of living alone is for my own personal growth.

I want to focus on myself for now. I want to learn how to properly prepare a meal for one person, not four, at last. I want to get used to and stick to a workout routine, and get a lot more fit. I want to go out and explore and take tons of pictures again. I want to do whatever floats my boat whenever I feel like doing it. I want to become the person I always wanted to be. I want to be happy. Good thing my lease here won't be up for at least another ten months, so there's still plenty of time for me to do and achieve all of that.

You Might Also Like

2 comment/s

  1. Hach, deine wunderschöne Wohnung! Endlich möchte ich sie mal sehen..

    Ich glaube ich könnte wohl auch ganz gut alleine wohnen, bin ja ohnehin meist alleine. Zwar im Elternhaus aber meist auf meinem Zimmer. Ich kann's auch kaum erwarten meinen eigenen Haushalt zu führen, hach :)

    Schön hast du's bei dir in deiner nicht mehr neuen Wohnung :*